Little Shop Of Santa
Moderators: chrisbishop, Spectrum Strike Force
http://www.spectrum-headquarters.com/fa ... _santa.htm
Although this short story was posted for the Christmas challenge, it is essentially a ‘whodunit’. This is a difficult technical subject for any writer to tackle, since many readers have become familiar with many of the conventions and clichés used in this particular genre throughout the years. This also means I have to be extra circumspect with this review, in order not give too much away for those readers who have not yet read the story.
The story begins in established tradition, with a dead body, namely a Spectrum lieutenant, and then introduces the ‘detective’ in the form of Captain Scarlet. The scene of the crime is a toy-shop, which is a clever touch, since it creates a feeling of disquiet in the reader. The innocence represented by children’s toys sits incongruously with the sordid crime of murder.
The lieutenant was protecting the owner of the toy-shop, and readers familiar with the TV21 comic will recognise his name. Chris slowly reveals this character’s personality and history via scenes and dialogue, rather than simply telling us in the narrative, and we have to wait right up until the last page to discover what is so important that this gentleman chooses to remain burrowed in his workshop in defiance of a Mysteron threat on his life, rather than be held in a Spectrum secure house.
The key to a whodunit is the sprinkling of clues within the text in such a way that the readers do not resolve the crime too soon, otherwise all the suspense is lost. This is an exceedingly difficult and subtle trick to pull off, since the omniscient author cannot always be sure that they are either being a) too mean with information, or b) ‘telegraphing’ too much. I believe Chris more or less succeeded, although perhaps a little additional misdirection in the first page or two might have confused the more perspicacious reader as to the identity of the killer. Her choice of only using Scarlet’s point of view was a wise decision, since it is a relatively short story, and the narrative restriction serves to retain the key elements of mystery and suspense.
The final scenes have Scarlet standing duty in the deserted outer toy-shop, as the Mysteron deadline approaches, waiting for the killer to strike again at the appointed hour. This is where the tension should be racked up for the reader in a mystery-suspense, but I felt that the sense of menace was a little diluted during Scarlet’s musings about the ‘Anderson toys’, which were delivered in perhaps a more light-hearted vein.
However, Chris quickly rectifies this, when a clock chimes, and then she proceeds to paint the scene so well that I could imagine it vividly in my head. I admit to a tingle along my spine when the killer, finally revealed, uttered its catchphrase; such innocent words, belying its shocking actions. There was a nice touch towards the end when Scarlet is saved from his doom from an unexpected quarter.
In general, the narrative flowed briskly, with dialogue that sounded authentic to the ear. Chris uses conversation well to ‘show’ us the temperaments of the protagonists and I always find it hard to believe that she is not a native English speaker, with her obvious command of the language that she uses in this and other stories.
The plot does not feel contrived, with perhaps one exception, namely, where Scarlet finds a vital clue but does not pursue its possible origins immediately. I think I understand what Chris’s reason for writing it that way might have been, as otherwise it would have brought the story too quickly to a close! Chris is an excellent plotter and this story is no exception, the plot being resolved at the climax and all loose ends tied up to the satisfaction of the reader.
In summary, this is another entertaining story from the web-mistress.
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Ethel Sherman
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