A ďCaptain Scarlet and The MysteronsĒ short story
by Sue Stanhope
Captain Scarlet, Spectrum, April 17 2082.
Iím dictating this rather than writing because, well frankly, I donít know whatís happening to me.† About an hour ago, I cut myself shaving and itís still there!† Still there! You know what this means to me?† Iím human, I can be cut, bleed, die.†
Next time I die, maybe Iíll stay dead?† A sobering thought.†
How can I be normal again after so many years?†
To be honest, I think I know.† About ten minutes ago, the Mysterons announced the end of the War of Nerves.† Everyone, and I mean everyone, is celebrating.† In about five minutes, theyíll probably realise that Iím not there and come looking, but I just canít look away from this mirror.†
There!† A grey hair!†
I must admit, Iím getting nervous now.† Iím human, Iím vulnerable, Iím aging and quickly too.† But I still canít get over what this must mean.† Iím not a Mysteron clone! Iím not!† I know Iím not. I think, I hope.† Iíve seen what happens when theyíre no longer needed; dropping to the floor like lifeless mannequins.† Suddenly discarded.
Conrad! I wonder where and how he is?† Does he have any recollection?† Is he alive?† Is he mad?†
A wrinkle and more grey hair.†
I canít watch, but I canít look away either.† I can hear Adam shouting now through the door.† I donít think he can hear me and I want so much to reply, but somehow, I canít.† This grim fascination wonít let me tear myself away from simply staring at this barely recognisable face in the mirror.† How can I explain this when even I donít know whatís happening?† Or do I?† Deep down, donít I believe that this is my final death?† Iím not that old, really, but have the constant regenerations taken their toll?† How can I possibly know?† I see it, I feel it, but I still canít believe it.
Did they just keep me alive for the war?† A Mysteron on Earthís side to balance the human on theirs?† How painfully ironic.
I was always too busy to think about how I actually wanted to die.† ĎWanted toí is such an odd phrase and Iím not sure I ever thought it possible.† Now it may only be minutes away and Iím not prepared.† So much I want to say, do, be.† Such a waste.† Iíve had more life than most and itís still not enough.† Never enough time to tell friends and family how much you love them, no time left to do all the things Iíve been putting off for so very long.
More grey and, yes, Iím so very tired.† If I lie down now, will I wake?† Well, if youíve found this, then, I guess the answer is no.
It seems the war is finally over and my last battle too.† But remember, itís what I lived for Ė quite literally.† Donít stop the celebrations.† Never stopÖ