A Captain Scarlet Halloween Story
“Let’s see what the night will bring,
It might be everything,
Oh it hurts,
When you’re too blind to see,”
(Robbie Williams: Sin Sin Sin)
For so long now I have waited for access to be with her again. To slip into her innovative new world, along with everyone else who exists in my world. I regret she will never be able to have me again, never be able to see me and I will never be able to feel her soft tender skin that used to send shivers of passion through my flesh, like being hit by… hit by… hit by the intensity of love. But first I must find her on this floating craft far above the clouds where she now lives and works.
I search that place she calls the “Amber Room” but I only find two of her other team mates, Rhapsody and Destiny. How often I’ve seen them when I’m in her world, my old world. I can see why she trusts them so. Rhapsody is a fair British lady and Destiny a friendly French girl. Yes, I know Destiny Angel. ‘Baby Juliette’ as her Grandmother calls her, yes I know all about her when she was a mere child. If only Destiny could hear her Grandmother now, proud of her achievements, what she stands for, and who she works with. But even if she could hear her, she wouldn’t, she’s too busy talking to Rhapsody about their Halloween costumes. Rhapsody speaks of dressing up as Agent Scully from that old TV Series, The X-Files, and Destiny merrily tells Rhapsody about her Tinkerbell outfit.
Then suddenly that Captain Scarlet walks straight through me joyfully scooping Rhapsody up in his arms, looking excitedly into her eyes, wondering when she’ll change into costume. I’m not offended in the very least, it doesn’t hurt being walked through, and I am a ghost after all. I’ve lost count how many times it has happened.
I see the compassion he has for Rhapsody, for after the party. Halloween, I can tell, isn’t one of his favourite events; he’s more interested in the action after midnight when the merciless beast inside Rhapsody emerges.
I just hope my sweetheart is okay, I know how much she hates Halloween nowadays, like Scarlet does but for a different reason, one she’ll never tell anybody on Cloudbase. It’s the reason I have travelled afar again to see her, a young Chinese girl with deep brown eyes. We were so young back then when we were in deep love and now every holiday, I travel to see her and every year since I died, I’ve seen only sadness in her eyes.
I drift through walls and doorways and find her quarters with ease. I should’ve knocked before entering but I couldn’t help it, I’m a spirit, everything I knock, my hand passes through. Typical. Barred from existence. Yet my eyes still see and there upon the bed she lies asleep. I try to touch her but I’d better not touch. What is there to touch? Just thin air, that’s all.
Oh Chan, I wish you could see me once more. I can see you asleep, tears in your tired eyes. You’ve been crying and I can’t blame you; this was the night I died four years ago, in that horrid thunderstorm. Oh, I would cry if I could.
We both knew the risks of thunderstorms over the Pacific, but I so wanted to do that flight and prove myself to, well, anyone who would care. I remember your pleading. You begged me not to, and you were right, little darling Angel, you were so right.
I try to brush away the tears that are drying on eyes too tired to cry no more. Your body curled up like a cat fighting the cold, fighting the cold harshness of Halloween, pretending to enjoy yourself when deep down you hate the festival, but by not joining in, you reveal to everyone your grief that is kept under lock and key, never to be seen again. Everyone sees you as a young quiet pilot who keeps to herself and practises Judo, holding classes and pretending to ignore the affection that Symphony, Destiny and Rhapsody share with their boyfriends. Behind a locked door, you weep. You should’ve been the happiest of them all. Coming to Cloudbase with a guy already in tow. But that wasn’t to be; now you must put on a show, a fake image.
I know the real Chan. The one who enjoys a cuddle and loves teddy bears. I see you’ve kept that old patchy one. You’re snuggled up to him. I gave him to you, an engagement present instead of a ring, I got you that later on but you didn’t care. The teddy always came first and now, here you lie asleep with our teddy and a picture of me by your bed. Me dressed in uniform, I wrote on that picture.
My heart belongs to you, Chan.
Love Richard, XXX
You’ve kept it all this time, only getting it out on my birthday, Halloween, Christmas, your birthday, New Year’s Day when I proposed, and our wedding date, the wedding day that never happened. Could I forgive myself?
No, I’ve never forgiven myself, Chan, leaving you like that, leaving you grieving without a man to be your rock; yet you remained strong, somehow. The day you became my girlfriend, I promised to forever be there for you, so you were safe and loved. I hope that with time, you will heal and find someone new. You are still young, Chan, still pretty and innocent and a diamond brighter than all others. Were my eyes deceiving me last time, or were you attempting to flirt with Dr Fawn?
That outfit. I’m surprised I never noticed it. So you’re going to the Halloween party dressed as a little black cat. You never liked cats – well, not little ones anyway but you liked the big cats; but your favourite animal is the Panda. I remember adopting one for you for one of your birthdays, and then there was that day, we played with baby Pandas, yet another birthday treat. You were in your element. That beautiful sparkle I saw in your eyes long ago isn’t the same one I see nowadays. It is gone. The old you, still there but only slightly. You keep an air of mystery around you nowadays, not letting anyone in, including your close friends, the other Angels.
No one knows anything about me; you decided you liked it that way, the quieter, the better. I can’t remember you being ever so quiet; you were always loud and bold, adventurous and curious but not anymore, especially not on this night of nights; my death night.
You are so brave. To act like nothing is wrong, when deep down your emotions are churning like butter. You mingle, you dance, you joke, you bob for apples and eat party food, but secretly, you don’t want to be there; Halloween means different for you and no one knows. Your head screaming “take me away!” This year will be the same as the last.
That song playing in your room, over the radio - where have I heard it before?
“Don’t get all emotional baby,
You never talk to me,
You’re unable to communicate.”
Last Halloween, that’s when. A band long since passed created the song; you played it at my funeral because we danced to it, years before. But those words, they ring in me like they did last year, and those years before, and yet again, I hope you will one day come to terms with Halloween and what it did to us.
I know how hard it must be for you. It’s torture for me not being able to be there for you, when no one else knows of your turmoil, why you hate Halloween so much. You lost me, your only lover, the only guy who could make you really happy.
Well, Chan, I’m forever with you; just please, wake up and try to enjoy yourself. Please do try, sweetheart. I know it must be hard for you. You never forget what happens in the past even when others do. Small details no matter how small, never escape you, like our holiday to New Zealand. You never forgot any of the little marks on that one dolphin you swam with. I can barely remember the name you gave it. You never forgot a single thing we did; no wonder I could always find things with you around.
Remember what we said? Get married on the 15th of May? Never did, never will. Ouch, that hurts!
I leave Chan a kiss, look thoughtfully at the picture then turn away from her and head to see my father on this Halloween night. I hope he’ll be okay; he’s never been the same since me and mother died, and he cares so much for Chan, always keeps in touch with her, takes pride in her accomplishments, loves her like the Angel she has become.
Harmony. Such a sweet name for such a sweet Angel, my Angel who weeps sad tears on Halloween night, like the tears she wept the day after tonight fours years ago on this night of nights…
The Writer Writes Once More
I would like to thank anyone who reads On This Night Of Nights, this being my second completed Fan Fiction. It took me just a few hours to write and needless to say, I’m pleased with it. I wrote this from the heart, I’m not out to impress anyone. Halloween has never been one of my favourite things because I feel the true meaning has been lost somewhere along the line. Children go about with their ‘trick or treat’ but do they truly understand Halloween?
I would to thank Chris for once again Beta Reading for me, like she did with Like Father, Like Son. My thanks also go out to my best mate Rachael, for once again taking the time out to read this short story.
Songs quotes are from “Sin Sin Sin” by Robbie Williams and “Bubblewrap” by McFly.
This story is purely for the love of writing and I have no intention of gaining profit from it.
Halloween is the time for ghoulish outings, so someone explain this one, my computer is saying that it is January 7th 1980. I wasn’t even born at that point! Rest assured I’ve not touched the time controls for the best part of thirteen months (that explains it then).
And if Angel One takes another pot shot at my house, I’m gonna flip!! Hang on… where’s the pilot?! Um, does anyone have Spectrum’s emergency hotline number? I think I might just need it…
11th July 2008