Original series Suitable for all readers

HOW THE WAR OF NERVES ENDED...

 

By Hazel Köhler

 

After several years of the War of Nerves, the Mysterons’ complex on Mars was looking decidedly scruffy.  A non-corporeal life-form like the Mysterons had no real need for airtight buildings, so it was inevitable that dust and dirt would drift in from outside. 

 

With a view to rectifying this situation, the Mysterons placed an advert in the newspapers of Earth:

WANTED
Clearner for unusual construction company.  
Must be willing to travel, 
and have own vacuum cleaner. 
Unique health-care plan for the right candidate.

 

They did not have to wait long.  The ideal candidate presented herself shortly after the Mysterons’ advert appeared in the Plein-jour sur la Manicouagan, a weekly publication in the province of Quebec, Canada.

 

Mme Gertrude Leblanc
service d'entretien ménager et nettoyage résidentiel
ARC-EN-CIEL
Manicouagan 101 104 2068

 

 

Through an intermediary, the Mysterons contacted Mme Leblanc and contracted her commercial and domestic cleaning company, Arc-en-Ciel.  Transport to Mars was quickly arranged, and Mme Leblanc herself attended for the first visit of this important contract.

 

It was a bit of a shame, really, that the Mysterons neglected to carry out a bit of basic translation work, or, indeed, to get a few extra power sockets fitted…

 

 

THIS IS THE CHAR OF THE MYSTERONS...

 

 

Author’s Note

 

Perhaps a little explanation is necessary here.  Several of us chat online with Chris in the evening.  From time to time, Chris’s connection dies, and she has to log back in, sometimes several times in an evening.  In our usual whimsical fashion, we invented the character of Gertrude, a cleaner at Chris’s ISP, who unplugs the server so that she can plug her vacuum cleaner in.  After one such connection break, the phrase “This is the char of the Mysterons” came into being, and it was only a fairly short step from there to this picture.

 

I’m sure everyone will recognise the three sets of numbers that make up Gertrude’s phone number.  It’s a shame that the Manicouagan phone code isn’t 101 in reality, but at least “Plein-jour sur la Manicouagan” is a real weekly publication.

 

Hazel Köhler

Halloween, 2010

 

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OTHER CAPTAIN SCARLET STORIES BY HAZEL KOHLER

 

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